<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Half my Life (Hiatus) by Stoffig98</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781065">Half my Life (Hiatus)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoffig98/pseuds/Stoffig98'>Stoffig98</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Half-Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Angst, Anxiety, Barney is clinically insane, Character Death, City 17 (Half-Life), Descriptive gore, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Gordon can talk, Gore, Gun Violence, Guns, Half my Life, Hints of Smut, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mild Sexual Content, Murder, No Sex, On the Run, Points of View, Post-Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Recovery, Serial Killers, Steampunk, Suicide Attempt, Thriller, Violence, cursing, freehoun - Freeform, tyranny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:47:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoffig98/pseuds/Stoffig98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alien life has been eradicated from earth, leaving Gordon with only the dirt of the war on his name forever. Gordon Freeman and Alyx Vance had remained in City 17 while the world entered a steampunk revolution while everyone started to rebuild what they had lost around them. Suddenly, after 20 long years, lord behold Barney shows his face at a bar Gordon happened to be preforming at. While catching up, Barney mentions a serial killer running loose under the darkness of City 17. This mysterious case becomes somewhat of an obsession to Barney, and Gordon takes notice. Freeman started to realize something wasn't right about Barney, he couldn't put his finger on it but something had changed in Barney's eyes and it had to be related to his sudden obsession with the serial killer case. What did Barney know about this so called 'unknown killer' of the case that had suddenly taken over his life?<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Please correct me on any story line errors I make, I only recently got into the Half Life fandom but I really wanted to write out this story idea<br/>I DO NOT SUPPORT THE CRIMINAL ACTIONS IN THIS BOOK.<br/>I should warn this story will get pretty descriptive with gore<br/>https://linktr.ee/Stoffig98</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barney Calhoun &amp; Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman, Freehoun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. IOU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The year was… well, who cared what the damn year was. Gordon had fixed what he had started, the mass of creatures had been eradicated. It took alot of rebuilding, 10 years about. Things hadn’t gone back to being the same right away, a steampunk era had washed over City 17 and, well, the rest of the world that had been affected by the Resonance Cascade too. <br/>	Gordon hadn’t left City 17 since he didn’t have the funds to leave so he stayed and dealt with the negativity attached to his name in the community. It wouldn’t matter anyways if he did move. People knew him and his name and he had nowhere he could hide except his condo at the edge of the city borders. It overlooked the airship docks, it wasn’t that bad of a view actually. Alyx was still in his life too, they were neighbors actually. Gordon remembered when Alyx had begged him for his condo because of the view, crazy to think that was 2 years ago when City 17 was still attached to the base of the planet and not in the sky. It’s still crazy to think about how floating islands became possible in a matter of years. <br/>	Gordon couldn’t find a job, companies didn’t want to be associated with his past. Alyx managed to get a job at a bar down the road from their condominium. Gordon had found a passion for playing guitar and would sometimes perform a piece or two at Alyx’s bar if she could convince her manager. <br/>	“Heya hippie!” Alyx said, bursting into Gordon’s room. He jumped, almost throwing his guitar through the open window he sat at.<br/>	“Jesus!” He looked at her, a hand over his chest, “Learn to knock!” Alyx laughed a bit, sitting on his couch.<br/>	“No.” She replied with a smirk. “You should probably go get freshened up, I got you a spot on stage tonight.”<br/>	“Really? They aren’t sick of me yet?”<br/>	“Actually, I think my manager is starting to really take a liking to you. He’s asked you to perform 3 pieces tonight actually.” Gordon scoffed,<br/>	“The people’s ears will bleed tonight I guess.” He put his Guitar in his case and stood, stretching.<br/>	“C’mon Gordon! You don’t play as bad as you think!”<br/>	“Yeah, I guess I can't associate the beer bottle throwing with my guitar playing.” The two shared a laugh.<br/>	“Actually Gordon, the managers been trying to hire some guards who worked for the resistance back in the day. Like I said, you’re starting to make your way into people's hearts again!” Gordon smiled and shook his head,<br/>	“I appreciate it bu-”<br/>	“There’s not buts Gordon! He’s set on his decisions and I’m not about to make him change them.” He sighed and walked over to her, giving her a hug.<br/>	“Awh ya big softie!” She patted his back.<br/>	“Well, I gotta get goin’. Boss said he wants you there and ready on stage by 6.” Alyx let go from the hug and went to Gordon’s door,<br/>	“See ya’ in an hour!” She left, shutting the door with a smile.<br/>	Gordon waved as she left, sighing softly. Three songs meant a lot, he had only been doing 2 for half a year.<br/>	Gordon got himself dressed in a faded orange button up, grey vest, gray pants, and a pair of combat boots he had. The color combo had become his signature thing ever since he got stuck wearing that HEV suit for years. He fixed his hair in his bathroom mirror and glanced at the pictures he had taped all around it. His eyes fell on an old, dust covered Polaroid of Barney and him, Barney on his back while they stood triumphant over two Combine soldiers they’d taken out. Gordon dusted the picture off a bit and smiled, it was their last ever photo they took together before they were split up twenty years ago.<br/>	Gordon knew deep down something bad had probably happened to Barney, he really tried not to dwell on it but he couldn’t help it. He laid awake in bed some nights not knowing how he could keep going. It had been a constant feeling of guilt but he couldn’t let go, he never could. He’d have the weight of Barney’s with him for the rest of his life.<br/>	Gordon grabbed his guitar case and left to his car, he might as well be early to his big performance. He got in his car and started to drive, he still listened to the cd Barney given him back at Black Mesa. He had made him a playlist as a sort of introduction in the first week of knowing each other.<br/>	Gordon parked in the back and got out, guitar case in hand as he walked into the bar. A few familiar guests waved at him as he sat at the bar, waving to Alyx who was mixing a drink.<br/>	“Hey Gordon!” The manager sat next to him, patting him on the back.<br/>	“Hey Todd.” He smiled and looked at him.<br/>	“I can’t say thanks enough times for what you’re doing.”<br/>	“Well, I have to say Alyx is quite the convincer.” He chuckled.<br/>	“But your music brings in the customers plus, I don’t like the tension that remains from something that happened almost a decade ago.” Gordon smiled,<br/>	“I really appreciate everything you’ve done but Alyx told me about the guards you were going to hire.”<br/>	“I already hired two bouncers! You can’t talk it out of me now Freeman.” He patted him on the shoulder and stood, “You’re a great person, not like everyone says.” Todd left to go back behind the bar to help with drink orders.<br/>	Gordon glanced over at the simple wood platform in the middle of the bar. That stage hadn’t been changed or renovated in years, Gordon always felt like he’d fall through one day. He glanced around at the crowd, no one fancy he had to completely go out of his way to impress, good. It was mostly men from the airship docks who were on break or people who had just gotten off work.<br/>	He didn’t have anything to drink, he hadn’t had anything alcoholic since, well, Bareny.<br/>He heard his name finally get called, it was his time to perform. He grabbed his Guitar from his case and went to the stage. It was odd not to hear the usual booing or to get a beer bottle thrown at his feet, he didn’t miss it as he started to tune his instrument. He felt his fingers go from one string to the next, focusing in on his instrument and only his instrument. He played through two originals. The feeling of his fingers trailing up and down the strings was satisfying, knowing that he was playing every note perfectly was intoxicating.<br/>	Gordon didn’t usually sing, he’d only sing every other month live on stage, if that. Something felt special tonight though, so he picked a familiar tune. Black Bird by John Lennon. He adjusted the microphone to a propper level at his mouth and started to play and the singing came naturally. It was the first song on Barney’s playlist. He remembered when Barney used to show off his playing when they had to hunker down at night and he remembered how soothing his voice was when he sang Black Bird to them. The song had a lot of meaning to him, it always would.<br/>	The applause from the crowd was outstanding after his performance. He held back a few tears and took his small bow before going back to where his case was next to the bar, putting his guitar away. Alyx came over, washing a glass and smiled.<br/>	“That was really beautiful Gordon.”<br/>	“I don’t sing it as well as him.”<br/>	“He’d still love it. Look, I gotta run to the kitchen, they got our orders backed up again.” She smiled,<br/>	“I’ll come visit ya after my shift but stick around awhile alright?” She passed him a glass of water.<br/>	Gordon ran his fingers around the rim of the glass, frowning. He hadn’t looked at the tips he’d gotten in the jar because his mind was elsewhere. Maybe he shouldn’t have picked that song, that was foolish. Alyx probably didn’t appreciate the reminder Barney was gone either. He watched the condensation drip down the glass to keep him from crying. The workers bell tolled from outside at the Airship docks and the bar almost became empty immediately.<br/>	“Here.” Todd slid him a beer.<br/>	“Y’know I don’t drink Todd.” He chuckled, pushing it to the side a bit.<br/>	“It ain’t from me.” He nodded to someone behind Gordon. Gordon gave him a confused look as he slid another beer to the empty seat beside him and went to help another customer.<br/>	“How about the beer I’ve owed you for mh, a decade or so aye?” Gordon flipped around and on to his feet, almost knocking himself off his feet at the same time.<br/>	“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of that damn suit Doc, I’m glad I can still recognize your voice.” Gordon stood and stared at him, it was Barney, it really was him.<br/>	“Holy shit.” He hugged him, gripping him tightly.<br/>	“Jeez Doc don’t suffocate me!” He laughed and hugged him back just as tight. He sighed and closed his eyes, resting against Gordon’s shoulder.<br/>	“Oh god I’ve missed you…” Barney let himself cry into Gordon’s shoulder. Gordon found himself crying too.<br/>	“I’m so sorry I left you behind.”<br/>	“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.” The two pulled from the hug and smiled, wiping away their tears and sharing a light hearted laugh. They sat at the bar with each other.<br/>	“So you don’t drink anymore? You alright in the head Doc?” Gordon laughed,<br/>	“I only ever drank around you.” Gordon grabbed the beer and sipped it.<br/>	“You know, the black turtle neck coat suits you Barney.”<br/>	“Really? Awh jeez, thanks. I just quickly threw something on to be honest.” Alyx must’ve recognized the voice. She came from the back to the bar and froze<br/>	“Barney?” Barney turned to her and smiled.<br/>	“No, Gordon’s just drinkin’ with strangers again.” She ran around the side of the bar and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek.<br/>	“Holy shit! We thought you died!”<br/>	“Well, I came damn close. I have a hell of a story to tell ya.” He smiled and drank his beer.<br/>	“Well I-” She was at a loss for words, “I get off in about 30 minutes.”<br/>	“We can wait till then right Doc?” He laughed a bit, finishing his beer. Gordon smiled,<br/>	“We sure can.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Alright, I’m ready for the story.” Alyx came from the back after clocking out, loosening her corset she wore.<br/>
“Well, where do I start?” Barney thought for a bit, holding his beer.<br/>
“Hm. Well, I won’t bore you with any small details. I stepped off that train and I had to run. The combine had beat the train there I guess they knew. It was a damn massacre and I wasn’t going to participate in it so obviously they found me out. I remember wanting to find you guys desperately but I knew I’d put you both in danger so I kept myself hidden from everyone. I would try and help citizens here ‘n there but it was more risky now that the Combine knew I wasn’t really one of them. I did eventually get captured after almost two years and they gave me hell. You think that’d be the end of me, but it wasn’t. I had to go through 3 years of that damn combine training and conditioning. Most night’s I’d lay on the ground of my sleepin’ quarters hoping they’d just come and beat my damn skull in but other times I’d fantasize about you two comin’ to rescue my ass.” He chuckled a bit, looking at the beer bottle.<br/>
“Awh jeez Barney that’s rough.” Alyx rubbed his back.<br/>
“It was but I got outta there just in time to read the headlines that everything was going to be normal again. I ran far from that damn combine building. I ran and ran until I couldn’t hold myself on my legs anymore. I found an abandoned shelter and got that combine suit off of me and got into some real clothes. I felt like hell but it was better than goin through hell. Eventually I made it back to the city and helped in any way I could. The war being over was such an unreal feeling and it still is.”<br/>
“How didn’t you find us before now?” Gordon asked, finally finishing his first beer.<br/>
“Well you see, I got caught up with actual military training and I didn’t have time to run around the city lookin for you.I’d ask here and there but no one seemed to want to speak either of your names. Someone at my new job mentioned that you had started doing performances so after work today I spent my hours going to bars and asking if you’d be performing there. Most of them said, Speak that name in this god forsaken bar again and I’ll kick your ass, others just shook their heads. Man Doc, I’m glad your voice didn’t change in 20 years, neither did that goatee.” He patted Gordon’s back and they all shared a laugh.<br/>
“So where do you work now?” Alyx asked.<br/>
“Oh!” He smiled, pausing for a second. “I’m just a guard for one of the military schools. Nothin much but it pays rent.”<br/>
“Speaking of work, Alyx did you grab my tips?”<br/>
“I sure did.” She handed him an envelope.<br/>
“Fancy.” Gordon said, putting the envelope in his vest.<br/>
“Oh jeez Doc, are you livin’ off tips?” Gordon sighed and looked away for Barney.<br/>
“Yeah…”<br/>
“Well if you’re struggling I can give you cash.” Gordon shook his head,<br/>
“I don’t need it.”<br/>
“My offer will always be there.” Barney smiled at Gordon when he eventually looked back at him.<br/>
“Barney you should come back to our condo’s!” Alyx suggested.<br/>
“I’d hate to impose-”<br/>
“You wouldn’t be Barney, don’t worry.” Gordon said, stretching.<br/>
“Well, now how could I turn down an offer like that.” Barney smiled warmly, fixing his hair a bit.<br/>
“Is that silver I see?” Alyx said, pointing to Barney’s hair. He laughed,<br/>
“Just a streak, it’s probably from stress honestly Alyx.” She smirked,<br/>
“Well, I’m sure the ladies will be fond of it.” He rolled his eyes and stood up.<br/>
“How about we get back to your guys’ place, I’m starvin’ and bar food won’t do.” Gordon stood along with Alyx,<br/>
“Do you have a car?” Gordon asked, he shook his head.<br/>
“My legs have been gettin’ me around for years, why stop now?”<br/>
“Well I’m not letting you walk all the way to our condominium.” Gordon said as they left the bar.<br/>
“I’ll race you guys!” Alyx called, going to her car.<br/>
“Last time you did that you got a ticket!” Gordon called back. She just rolled her eyes and got in her car.<br/>
Gordon and Bareny got in his car. Gordon turned on his car and started to head to the condo’s.<br/>
“Is this what I think it is?” Barney held up the cd he had given to Gordon.<br/>
“Yup. I listen to it every day.” Barney smiled and put it down.<br/>
“It still plays?”<br/>
“It sure does, I even installed a disk player in here just to listen to it.” Gordon smiled, keeping his eyes on the road.<br/>
Gordon couldn’t believe Barney was sitting next to him. He had to keep looking over at him to make sure it really was true and not some fever dream.<br/>
“How are you and Alyx hm?” Barney asked after a bit of silence.<br/>
“Oh, we’re fine. I think I was more hung up on you then she was so she’s probably better than me. It was hard to continue on without you Barney…”<br/>
Barney placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled,<br/>
“I’m just glad no one’s killed ya, people really hate you doc.”<br/>
“You think I don’t know?” He laughed a bit.<br/>
“I’m guessin’ the community really likes to make sure you remember that huh?” Gordon nodded.<br/>
“Maybe I should be your bodyguard instead of my crappy security guard job. I’d have more fun bein’ around you twenty four seven I think.”<br/>
“I’d be flattered.” The two laughed.<br/>
“Have you heard about that killer that’s been goin’ around?” Barney asked.<br/>
“Killer? Here?” He scoffed, “And they brag about how safe this place is.”<br/>
“Well, Guess I can tell you and Alyx another story.” Gordon smiled,<br/>
“That’d be nice, I don’t think I could get sick of your voice.” Barney smiled and rubbed the back of his neck,<br/>
“Jeez Doc, don’t make me blush.”<br/>
Gordon pulled into his parking spot and walked Barney up to his condo.<br/>
“It isn’t much but the view really makes up for it.” Bareny looked around and smiled.<br/>
“Hey losers!” Alyx walked into Gordon’s condo and sat on his couch.<br/>
“I brought beer since Gordon’s lame and doesn’t have anything to drink.”<br/>
“Hey I have juice!” Barney was looking out the window at the moon.<br/>
“You’re right Doc, the view is somethin’.” He turned around and sat on the couch with Alyx and Gordon.<br/>
“He wouldn’t trade it for my shitty view of the other Condos.” Alyx huffed..<br/>
“And I still won’t.” Gordon chuckled.<br/>
“You want to hear about the killer goin’ around Xen?” Alyx perked up,<br/>
“Really? A killer? Here?” Barney nodded.<br/>
“It’s pretty classified information but I think I owe you two another story. The guy’s been goin’ around for almost a year now, slashing and mutilating all these people of power. There’s speculation that whoever this person is they’re probably tryin’ to overthrow the government.”<br/>
“How the hell has no one gotten wind of this? It’s seriously been almost a year since this first started?” Alyx asked, she was in shock.<br/>
“Well that’s why it’s classified. It’s mostly been members of the congress or military leaders, people that only immediate family would know about.”<br/>
“Well, nothing can be perfect but, I can’t believe that this is being covered up so well…” Gordon said.<br/>
“I just hope this doesn’t bring about another war.” Alyx said, opening her own beer.<br/>
“Well, maybe this guy’s in the right.”<br/>
“Did you hit your head on the way in here Barney? He’s a tyrant whoever this is!”<br/>
“All I’m saying is that the government isn’t the best, maybe it’ll make things ever greater then they are.” Alyx scoffed,<br/>
“I hope this dude gets caught and tortured for the public to see.” Gordon didn’t respond till he noticed they were both staring at him.<br/>
“Oh, well… Maybe Bareny’s right, this place still isn’t as perfect as it could be. She shook her head and passed them both a beer.<br/>
“Whatever ya say Doc.” Alyx said, drinking her beer.<br/>
The three spent a few more hours catching up, steering the conversation from the homicide case Barney had brought up and the past since now wasn’t the time to get depressed again.<br/>
“Well, I’m heading back to my condo. No tellin’ stories without me alright?” She stood and walked to the door, giving Barney another hug before leaving.<br/>
“I should get goin’ too Doc.”<br/>
“You can stay, I don’t know how far you live but I can make up a bed on the couch.” Gordon really didn’t want Barney leaving so soon.<br/>
“If you insist.” Barney smiled and sipped his beer and looked at Gordon.<br/>
“I just, really missed you and I’m not ready to see you leave yet.”<br/>
“Well, you’re lucky I'm off work the next three days.” He paused.<br/>
“You know, I actually live down the road now that I think about it.”<br/>
“Really? That’s amazing! That’ll make it easy for the three of us to see each other.”<br/>
“It sure will Doc.” Barney finished his beer and took off his coat, laying it on Gordon’s table. He wore a black and gray sweater under it. He removed his utility belt and laid it on his jacket.<br/>
“Is that company issued?” Gordon nodded to Barney’s revolver.<br/>
“No, it’s company approved, but I went out and purchased it myself. It’s my most prized possession.” Barney grabbed it from the belt and handed it to Gordon.<br/>
Gordon looked over the gun. It was black steel with wood details. He handed the revolved back to Barney,<br/>
“That’s an impressive ass gun.”<br/>
“Thanks Doc, I worked hard for it.”<br/>
“You look tired, want me to see if I can find some clothes that fit you?”<br/>
“That’d be nice. My muscles might rip em though.” Gordon laughed,<br/>
“Oh c’mon Barney, I’m not that skinny out of the HEV suit am I?”<br/>
“I can’t tell the difference between you and a twig right now Doc.” Gordon playfully punched Barney’s shoulder and stood, going to his room to grab him some clothes to sleep in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You've Changed your Tune</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Here you are.” Gordon brought a plain t-shirt and some sweatpants back to Barney.<br/>	“Thanks Doc.” He stood and took the clothes from Gordon.<br/>	“The bathrooms uhm, down the hall to the left.” Gordon rubbed the back of his neck at the fact he almost forgot where his own bathroom was. Barney nodded and went to go get changed. <br/>	Gordon grabbed another beer from the six pack Alyx had left. His feelings hadn’t changed in years. Gordon didn’t know how many years it’d been since they met at Black Mesa but it was crazy to think they we’re almost both fifty.<br/>	“You alright Doc?” Gordon jumped, almost dumping his beer on himself.<br/>	“Y-yeah. Just thinking…” He sat on the couch, eventually joined by Barney.<br/>	“What? About how were both old as hell?” Gordon chuckled,<br/>	“Yeah actually.”<br/>	“I forget my own age sometimes, I like to still think I’m in my 30’s.” He laughed.<br/>	“Well, ten years ain’t that much of a difference Barney.” Gordon sipped his beer.<br/>	“I’m gettin’ wrinkly Doc, it’s a big difference to my clean and clear skin.” <br/>	“Try some of that like, anti aging cream. I think you look fine.” Gordon shrugged, finishing his beer. Barney’s face turned a soft pink.<br/>	“Awh, thanks Doc…” Barney rubbed his face a bit and finished what he had left of his own beer.<br/>	“I think I’m going to head to bed, do ya need anything?”<br/>	“Just a pillow, I’ll use the blanket on the back of the couch.” Gordon nodded and stood to grab a pillow from his room, bringing it back to Barney.<br/>	“Well… Sleep well, Doc.” Barney smiled. They stood, staring at each other for a moment before they both hugged one another.<br/>	“I missed you more than you know Barney…” He rubbed Barney’s back.<br/>	“I missed you too Gordon…” He gripped him tightly.<br/>	“I haven’t felt warm in years Barney…” Gordon’s voice broke.	<br/>	“Ah jeez Doc, don’t cry…” Barney felt his own eyes start to well up.<br/>	They stood hugging one another, crying into each other's shoulders. They ended up sitting back on the couch, holding each other and eventually falling asleep together.<br/>	Gordon woke in the morning only to find Barney not next to him. His heart dropped, was it all just a dream? He then heard his door creak open.<br/>	“Oh shit, hey Doc…” Barney walked in with a few paper bags from the grocery store.<br/>	“Oh thank god, I thought I was hallucinating last night.” He stretched, yawning.<br/>	“I’m as real as ever.” Barney pointed to himself with a crooked smile.<br/>	“Where did you go?”<br/>	“Just ran up to the store, I was gonna make us some pancakes.”<br/>	“Hell Barney it’s almost 6 in the morning, why’d you leave at the crack of dawn.” He stood and walked over to his kitchen counter.<br/>	“I just… Like to go early.” He shrugged, “I was going to ask if you wanted to tag along but you sleep like a damn baby Doc.” He laughed. Gordon could listen to him laugh all day.<br/>	“I didn’t know you’d become a morning person Barney.” Barney laughed again while he unpacked the groceries. Gordon noticed he had changed into his clothes from the night before.<br/>	“It’s nice to not have to deal with a lot of people in the morning time. The only risk of goin’ out in the morning is running into that tyrant that’s been goin’ around.”<br/>	“You had your gun on you right?”<br/>	“Course, I don’t go anywhere without it these days.” Gordon nodded and smiled while he grabbed a pan to make pancakes in.<br/>	“You’ve changed a lot, you know that right?” Gordon said while they lined up the ingredients for pancakes.<br/>	“Have I? I haven’t taken notice of it.”<br/>	“Well, you were always so social to strangers but now you don’t like the idea of being out when everyone else is out, or how you’re suddenly a morning bird.” Gordon shrugged,<br/>	“It doesn’t bother me, just things I’ve noticed.” Barney chuckled, glancing over at Gordon while he took off his coat,<br/>	“Well, in my defense it has been ten years.” Gordon chuckled, starting his stove,<br/>	“Yeah, yeah it has.”<br/>	The two made pancakes together and enjoyed the sunrise from the window of Gordon’s condo while they ate.<br/>	“I’ve flown one of those.” Barney said as they watched one of the airships fly into the docks.<br/>	“Bullshit.”	<br/>	“Nope.” Barney grabbed his wallet from his pocket and pulled out his certified license to fly, showing Gordon.<br/>	“Holy shit.”<br/>	“It was mandatory for my military training.”<br/>	“Why didn’t you enlist?”<br/>	“Well I… It reminded me too much of the combine. The only reason I did training was to get an easy job and get the skills they use under my belt.<br/>	“Does the coat beat the old uniform?”<br/>	“Yeah. definitely. Except, I think I looked better in the combine uniform.”<br/>	“I think you look just as good, this whole new steampunk style really fits you Barney.” Barney smiled, blushing a bit,<br/>	“Thanks Doc, I have a better uniform, this is for when I’m posted outside.”<br/>	Barney pulled out his cellphone.<br/>	“Shit, you have one of those Barney?!”<br/>	“Company issued.” He chuckled. “It’s just a big hunk of metal, the crap we had at Black Mesa worked better than this portable thing.” He sat for a moment, looking through messages, before putting it back in his pocket.<br/>	“The killer struck again earlier this morning. They found another government member dead. Guess he was out on a jog.” Gordon was confused on how numb Barney was to the news but brushed it off, it was probably the old Combine training.<br/>	“That’s scary, I’m glad you carry your gun.” Gordon said, grabbing their dishes to put them in his dishwasher.<br/>	“I am too.” Barney chuckled, kicking his feet up on his coffee table.<br/>	“Do you want to stay the weekend here while you’re off work?” Gordon sat back down with him on the couch.<br/>	 “Oh, sure! Could we make a run back to my place then Doc?” Gordon nodded,<br/>	“Yeah of course.” His front door suddenly swung open, it was Alyx still in a white nightgown holding the morning paper.<br/>	“That case Barney was talking about made the news! Oh hey Barney.” She pointed to the headlines and smiled at them a bit.<br/>	“Shit, according to Barney he struck again this morning.”<br/>	“I wasn’t expecting it to make the news.” Barney muttered, looking at the article in curiosity.<br/>	“According to the papers, the city’s going on lockdown and only airships are allowed to come and go.” Alyx threw the paper on the coffee table.<br/>	“Guess our tyrant didn’t see the news before his strike this morning. His crime scenes are cleaner than the floor of a ball room before a dance so I don’t think they’ll catch em soon.”<br/>	“The idiot will slip up soon.” Alyx said, going to Gordon’s kitchen and taking a water canister from his fridge. Gordon caught Barney as he rolled his eyes.<br/>	“I wouldn’t undermine this guy, he’s been goin’ around for about a year or so.”<br/>	“Jesus.” Alyx said, joining them on the couch, sitting between Barney and Gordon.<br/>	“It’s really an interesting case Alyx.”<br/>	“Spare me the details.” She huffed kicking her feet up.  Gordon found his obsession with the case interesting and the obsession was starting to rub off on Gordon.<br/>	“I was going to take Barney to get a change of clothes or two, he’s stayin the weekend. Want to join us?” She shook her head.<br/>	“Nah, I gotta get ready for work.” She stood, giving them both a hug.<br/>	“Stop by later maybe!” She called as she left.<br/>	“I’m gonna go get dressed, help yourself to my fridge.” Barney smiled.<br/>	“Thanks Doc.”<br/>	Gordon changed into a faded orange button up with a grey vest and matching scarf around his collar. He then slipped on some dark grey dress pants with black boots.<br/>	“Ready to go?” Gordon said, walking back to where Barney sat on the couch reading the paper Alyx had left.<br/>	“Oh, sure!” He stood and put his jacket and belt on then his boots, leaving with Gordon to his car.<br/>	“I never asked, what school do you work for?” Barney chuckled,<br/>	“Well, I’m not supposed to tell actually.”<br/>	“Really? Huh.” Gordon shook off his suspicion. Barney wouldn’t lie to him so why was he being so weird about the answers he gave Gordon.<br/>	“Also, it looks like I’m switching to the night shift next week.” he added while directing Gordon to his apartment. <br/>	“We’re here Doc!” He chimed as Gordon pulled into the parking lot of a pretty run down complex.<br/>	Barney led Gordon up a rickety set of stairs and into his apartment.<br/>	“Can’t you afford something more high end?” Barney sighed.<br/>	“People know my name too, a handful of ex combine soldiers own the better apartments around here…” Gordon sighed,<br/>	“Why didn’t you say something?” Gordon looked around the singular room apartment that had another room he assumed was a bathroom.<br/>	“I don’t want ya to feel guilty Doc.”<br/>	“Come live with me, you deserve better conditions.” <br/>	“It’s okay! I just need to get around to renovating a bit. I’ve been here for years and I’ve been fine!”<br/>	“I wasn’t asking.” Gordon glanced at Barney. Barney let out a sigh,<br/>	“You sure Doc?”<br/>	“More than sure. Ween’s your lease up?”<br/>	“I was going to renew it tomorrow. Guess I don’t got to now.” He laughed a bit and went to the closet he had, grabbing a few boxes.<br/>	“Mind if I move in today?”<br/>	“Not at all.” Gordon said crushing a roach.<br/>	“Hey, let me help you pack.” Gordon went over to Barney to help him shove things in boxes.<br/>	Gordon picked up a small photo album as they finished most of the packing.<br/>	“What’s this?” Barney looked over at him and laughed a bit, finished closing a box.<br/>	“Open it.” Gordon flipped open the cover and looked through the album. It was a bunch of photos of them together and photos of Gordon in general.<br/>	“I was lucky to keep all of em when the Combine found me.  They didn’t check my uniform for anything. I found that album in that abandoned shelter I mentioned the other day.” Gordon smiled and placed it in a box, closing it.<br/>	“I keep all mine on my mirror so I can look at them every morning.”<br/>	“Does Alyx have any still?” Gordon shook his head.<br/>	“Maybe in a box somewhere, I don’t really know.” Barney scoffed.<br/>	“Guess our bond was just stronger huh Doc?” Gordon chuckled,<br/>	“Guess so.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Questionable Ethics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I really Gotta thank you Doc, this is mighty fine of you to let me do.” Barney said, placing the last box from the car next to Gordon’s front door.<br/>	“Anything for an old friends.” Why did Gordon feel weird saying ‘friend’?<br/>	Barney took off his coat, laying it on the kitchen counter for now. Gordon glanced over at the coat and couldn’t help but notice a small amount of blood on the sleeve.<br/>	“Hey Barney, how’d you get blood on your sleeve?” Barney looked up from unpacking.<br/>	“Oh! That was from a while ago Doc, had to help a guy that got shot.” Gordon stared at the sleeve questionably. He took the answer but a cloud of uneasiness loomed over his head by, the charm and reassurance of Barney’s crooked smile seemed to make everything okay again. <br/>	“Well, that definitely sounds like you Barney.” Gordon smiled and helped him unpack.<br/>	“There’s a pullout couch in my room, I could move out here if you’re not comfortable with that though.”<br/>	“Oh, that’s fine! No need to move your whole house around.” Barney laughed a bit.<br/>	“Should I haul my boxes into your room then?”<br/>	“Sure.” Gordon was beaming. Sure, it was the closest he’d probably ever get to sleeping with Calhoun but hell, it was something. It’d be nice to know he’d be nearby so he could maybe sleep soundly.<br/>	Gordon picked up a box and took it to his room.<br/>	“You sure do keep things spotless Doc!” Gordon put the box down scoffing. He had only cleaned up the day before Barney found him. It was a depression nest before.<br/>	“Yeah, I guess I do.” Gordon sat on his bed.<br/>	“You can use the left half of my dresser and closet, I don’t use much of my space.” Barney nodded.<br/>	“Thanks again, this is… real nice of ya.” Gordon smiled,<br/>	“It’s really nothing, I appreciate the company. It gets lonely in the condo sometimes, especially when Alyx is at work.” Gordon continued to ramble,<br/>	“The airships keep my company most days along with my guitar playing. My melodies help me to keep my nerves together.” Barney sighed a bit, sitting next to him on the bed,<br/>	“You really missed me huh?” Gordon nodded, looking at his hands. He felt Barney’s arm around him in a comforting way.<br/>	“Hey, it’s alright D-”<br/>	“Barney, it’s not. I’m not, atleast. I should’ve learned to take a hold of my life. I didn’t. It’s almost like I could only focus on you and obsessing about where you’d gone or if and where you’d died. I didn’t know how to take your disappearance. Alyx never told me how she did it so well so I was really suffering alone. You’re the only one I could confide in, with you not here I could barely keep myself together. I wasn’t just missing you, I was longing for you. Look, don’t get me wrong, Alyx is great, but she doesn’t handle grief the same I do. She didn’t have the same bond we had back then and losing you for that period of time  was like losing half my soul and… I fear we’ve lost that bond now too…” Gordon turned his head from Barney, his body tense. He’d been bottling it up all this time.<br/>	Barney kept his arm around Gordon and spoke softly, “Well, I can’t say I wasn’t worried about that all too.” He scooted closer to Gordon and looked at him, “The world was boring without you Doc, dark and lonely, all those poetic words. My mind wasn’t right, it was just a blank slate, guess that's why the conditioning didn’t affect me. I already wasn’t thinkin. I’d watch the stars and moon though, every night. Hoping you might be staring too. It was my memories that kept me warm at night, the pictures I had kept and… God Doc, we haven’t lost our bond!” Gordon looked up as he heard Banrey’s voice break. He hadn’t seen Barney shed a tear, ever. Gordon could only pull him into a tight embrace.<br/>	“I’m sorry I’ve changed Doc…” Gordon entangled his fingers in Barney’s hair, holding him against his shoulder.<br/>	“You’re still Barney in my eyes, no matter what. You’ll always be the same Barney to me. Always.” Barney smiled, crying still.<br/>	Gordon pulled his head up and held Barney’s face, using his thumbs to wipe away his tears. Barney smiled, hiccuping betweens cries as he brought his hands up to join Gordon’s.<br/>	“I know Alyx has been pretty tough on your attachment to some murder case but, I don’t mind it Barney. I think it’s pretty neat you have the inside eye to all this.” Barney laughed a bit, smiling. Gordon loved that stupid smile.<br/>	It took him a bit to realize how close their faces were, Gordon’s face turned a soft shade of pink as he calmly let go of Barney’s face, not wanting to weird Barney out.<br/>	“Thanks Gordon…” Gordon smiled like an idiot, he rarely got called Gordon by Barney but his name coming from the lips of the man he so desperately wanted to love and to hold was always such a wonderful gift. <br/>	“O-of course Barney… I’ll never let you down okay?” Barney nodded with a crooked smile.<br/>	“You want to go grab a beer at Alyx’s bar? I’d feel bad if we didn’t visit her.” Gordon smiled,<br/>	“Of course, let’s get changed and I’ll drive us over.”Barney had Gordon wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. He was lovesick.<br/>	The two changed into their outfits for the day. Barney wore a black turtleneck that had quite the shoulder piece to go with it and then black jeans for bottoms. A thigh holster held his gun. Gordon wore a long sleeve orange vest, a white button up with a scarf for a tie underneath. He then put on a pair of black dress pants and black shoes.<br/>	“You’re missin’ something.” Barney said rubbing his chin, looking at Gordon then around his room. He smiled and grabbed an old top hat, dusting it off and placing it on Gordon’s head.<br/>	“Ta-da! Perfect!” Gordon laughed a bit,<br/>	“Don’t be silly, this thing makes me look like hell.” Gordon looked at himself in the mirror.<br/>	“Well, I won’t let you leave the house without it on, Doc.” Gordon rolled his eyes and grabbed his car keys.<br/>	“Fine. Just for you then.” Gordon chuckled.<br/>	The two left the condo in high spirits. They listened to Barney’s playlist the whole way too. It was soothing to hear Barney’s voice sing along to every song.<br/>	“Maybe I should remake this old CD for ya. Maybe make it all my voice instead.” Barney winked at Gordon as they pulled into a parking spot.<br/>	“I’d like that… So I have something to comfort me when you’re away.” Gordon and Barney smiled at each other then got out of the car, walking into the bar.<br/>	The bar was almost empty, minus the workers. Alyx smiled, handing a few plates to a nearby worker as she walked over to where the two sat.<br/>	“What can I get you two?” She chuckled.<br/>	“A beer for me and this fine gentleman.” Barney and Alyx laughed.<br/>	“Well, I can’t deny it doesn’t look half bad on ya Gordon.” Alyx said, turning around to grab two beers from them.<br/>	“Barney made me wear it.” Gordon smiled, “How’s work been? Long?” Alyx and Gordon rambled for a bit about how long the day had been for her. Barney seemed to be analyzing the relation between the two of them from where he sat.<br/>	“Barney’s moving in with me actually.” Barney snapped out of his thoughts and smiled, sipping his beer,<br/>	“I sure am!” Barney smiled crookedly. <br/>	“Awh! You guys will be great roommates!” Alyx smiles, stealing a sip from Gordons beer.<br/>	“We sure will.” Gordon glanced at Barney, longingly. He wanted to find a home with Barney, his condo hadn’t felt like home without him. He hoped now it would.<br/>	The two stuck around for a bit, talking with Alyx about the new move in.<br/>	“Well, it looks like the bars getting populated. We’d hate to be a distraction.” Gordon said after finishing his beer.<br/>	“Alrighty. I’ll stop by later tonight then.” Alyx leaned over the bar, giving them each a hug before they left to drive back to Gordon's place.<br/>	Gordon went to the fridge and searched for something to make for dinner.<br/>	“We should've eaten there, I have nothing to eat here since I’m such a terrible cook.” Barney laughed and walked over, scanning the fridge,<br/>	“I think I could mix somethin up Doc.” Barney nudged him to the side and grabbed a few ingredients.<br/>	“Why do ya have meat if you can’t make it?”<br/>	“Alyx brings me groceries, I usually give most of it back to her.” Gordon watched as Barney put the steaks he had been defrosting on the counter with some broccoli.<br/>	“Jeez, you’ll starve yourself if ya don’t learn.” Barney chuckled, grabbing a skillet and some seasoning.<br/>	“Barney you don’t gotta coo-”<br/>	“I’m not cookin’, you are!” He grabbed Gordon’s arm and pulled him to his stove, standing behind him.<br/>	“I’ll tell ya instructions so you don’t set the place ablaze.” Gordon nodded.<br/>	Barney put his hands on Gordons, controlling him like a robot, telling him tips and tricks while they cooked. Gordon couldn’t help but blush, feeling Barney’s hands on his own was something he only dreamed of. He could barely focus on the cooking, his 30 year crush was basically holding his hands. Barney wasn’t aware of Gordon’s feelings, Gordon didn’t care.<br/>	“Annnnd they should be cooked well! Turn off the burned and then put the skillet to the side.” Barney slowly let go of his hands and sat on the counter, watching as Gordon put the stakes on two plates for them both.<br/>	“Do you think I did okay?” Gordon asked, grabbing silverware. <br/>	“I think you did great Doc!” Barney took one of the plates and placed it on his lap, cutting the steak open.<br/>	“See! Perfect Gordon!” Barney showed the meat to Gordon who smiled and cut his own steak up.<br/>	“Thanks, I enjoyed cooking like that with you.” Gordon leaned on the counter, eating.<br/>	“I did to, guess we’ll have to do it again.” Barney chuckled.<br/>	Barney hated to admit that he had feelings still for Gordon, and so strongly. He figured Gordon didn’t feel the same because Alyx had been there for him when he wasn’t but the talk they had earlier seemed to brush that thought away. He didn’t want to say anything to Gordon yet, in case this ended their friendship, forever.<br/>	“I have a present for you.” Barney said, putting his plate on the counter as he stood.<br/>	“Present?” Gordon chuckled<br/>	“Yup!” Barney grabbed something from where his coat laid on the coffee table in the living room. It was another phone.<br/>	“Oh Barney, I can’t accept that!”<br/>	“Sure you can Doc! Now we can stay in contact if I go somewhere!”<br/>	Gordon sighed and took the phone, putting it in his pocket for now.<br/>	“How do I repay you?”<br/>	“It’s a gift Doc.” Gordon sighed and nodded<br/>	“Alright…”<br/>	“Hey, I need to go run an errand real quick… I hope you don’t mind.” Barney said, grabbing his long coat.<br/>	“Oh, of course Barney.” Gordon did mind, he didn’t trust Barney out there alone, especially since the sun had set.<br/>	Barney left to go wherever he was going. He tried not to let it get to him, he tried to rest his head, but he couldn’t. He sat on the couch, staring blankly at his box tv. He waited and waited, his fears getting the best of him. He couldn’t do much but cry. He was half expecting Alyx to barge in and he would have to make up some dumb excuse but she never did, must’ve been a busy night at the bar. There Gordon sat, crying that Barney had something to do instead of being stuck inside with him.<br/>	“I’m home!” Barney called, removing his coat and hanging it on the back of the door.<br/>	Barney wasn’t met with words, but a tight embrace from Gordon who was trembling. Barney didn’t speak, he understood as he hugged back.<br/>	“I didn’t know my absence so deeply upset you…” Gordon still didn’t speak, he was trying not to hyperventilate<br/>“Let’s sit okay?” Gordon nodded slightly and went to sit back on the couch, Barney joining him with an arm around his waist.<br/>“I had to stop by work… I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d break down Gordon.” Gordon nodded in understanding.<br/>“How… How about we watch a movie together? Stay up tonight, hm?” Gordon nodded again, unable to conjure up words to say.	<br/>	Barney put on a movie to try and draw Gordon’s attention away from what had happened. His soft crying eventually stopped but, Barney didn’t take his arm away. The two eventually dazed off, holding one another, Gordon’s problems seeping into tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Something Seems Suspicious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon rubbed his eyes and groaned, blinking to get his eyes adjusted to the light. He didn’t realize what the weight on his chest was until he looked down to see Barney asleep on his chest. Gordon barely remembered anything other than crying last night but, he couldn’t complain about how he had woken up even if his eyes felt like weights on his face. He sat for a moment, running a hand through Barney’s hair on occasion before slowly getting up, laying Barney on the couch. He went to his room, curiosity had struck him and he really wanted to snoop through Barney’s stuff.<br/>
It wasn’t proper of him but something was off with Barney and he needed to find out what it really was. He looked through the unpacked boxes but didn’t have to look far, there was a few books that he found very… Interesting.<br/>
“The Ways of the Modern Day Assassin”<br/>
“The New World Tyrants”<br/>
And “What happens when the Government is Overthrown?”<br/>
Gordon was a bit shocked by what he found, but still curious nonetheless. He grabbed the three books and sat on his bed, thumbing through pages. Where the hell did Barney even get these books? Gordon found interest in the government book, reading a page or so between flips.<br/>
“Mornin…” Gordon almost threw the book in his hands, his eyes met Barney’s. He looked displeased.<br/>
“Morning.” Gordon slowly closed the book as Barney walked over to him.<br/>
“Please don’t get mad about those books Doc…” Gordon tilted his head, he was surprised he wasn’t being yelled at.<br/>
“Oh… Of course not! I actually enjoy reading about this kind of shit.” Barney sighed and sat next to Gordon.<br/>
“I’m disappointed… I wasn’t expecting you to snoop around once I moved in…” Gordon looked away,<br/>
“I’m sorry I… Something feels off about you Barney! I thought maybe I’d-” Barney held a hand to his face.<br/>
“It’s been a few years… I get it.” Gordon hadn’t heard disappointment in his voice ever.<br/>
“Barney, why these books? It’s an odd coincidence with the killer…”<br/>
He laughed, “You think I’m the killer? Well, can’t say I’m not flattered you think I’m capable of being a tyrant but, they’re just some odd books I liked from the school's library.”<br/>
Gordon didn’t know why he took it as a compliment but, anything that would make him happier made him happier.<br/>
“Okay… I was scared I didn’t know-”<br/>
“I forgive you,” Barney said, hugging Gordon.<br/>
“You know the killer has the right idea.”<br/>
“Barney don’t -”<br/>
“Hear me out. I know some shit Gordon.” He paused to make sure Gordon had no other arguments.<br/>
“The aliens aren’t all gone like we all think.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Gordon met Barney's eyes.<br/>
“The government has at least a headcrab to my knowledge that they’re experimenting on. They’re trying to make them military weapons. I wish I was lying Doc…” Gordon looked away, his eyes flicking back and forth.<br/>
“Maybe… The killer does have a point…” He was in utter shock.<br/>
“Don’t tell Alyx you just said that…” They shared a laugh.<br/>
“I woke up you on my chest this morning.” Barney smiled,<br/>
“Yeah? I must’ve gotten tired, I took off my shoulder armor and dozed off…” He rubbed the back of his neck.<br/>
“I didn’t mind…” They shared a smile. For a moment the world stopped and they got a moment to themselves without any worries.<br/>
“I still can’t believe the government has aliens… After all that shit the resonance cascade caused.”<br/>
“We should go bust down their doors!” They laughed.<br/>
“Kick their asses to the next planet.” Gordon said between laughs.<br/>
“Kill em’ dead once again.” Barney chuckled and sighed.<br/>
“I’ve noticed that the military has started to take up old combine members and training methods too… I don’t know about you but I’m rooting for this guy…” Gordon nodded,<br/>
“I think I’m starting to understand your view on this.” Gordon and Barney looked up as they heard the door to the room creak open more. It was Alyx.<br/>
“Heya!” She smiled and joined them on the bed. She seemed anxious.<br/>
“You okay Alyx? You seem like you’ve got something on your mind.” Barney asked with his usual smile.<br/>
“Oh… Yeah, yeah everythings okay. Well, other than the fact that tyrant struck again! Another fucking body!” She sat on the bed next to Gordon and huffed.<br/>
“Oh wow…” Gordon looked at Barney, he was lucky the tyrant hadn’t gotten him.<br/>
“Well that’s a shame…” Barney said, slightly hiding the books between Gordon and him.<br/>
“This is going to do nothing but cause turmoil.” She sighed,<br/>
“Anyways, how did you two sleep?” They looked at each other and smiled.<br/>
“I’d say so…” Barney said, chuckling.<br/>
“I would too…” Gordon smiled at Alyx.<br/>
“Well… I’m glad to hear.” Alyx stood and stretched.<br/>
“I have to go get ready for work, I’m off tomorrow thank god.” She laughed a bit,<br/>
“I’ll see you two around.” And with that she left the two.<br/>
“Hey, we never set up your phone did we Doc?”<br/>
“Not from what I remember… Then again I don’t remember much from last night… i’m sorry for that by the way…”<br/>
“There’s no need to be sorry… I know how attached you are to me, I still don’t know how I’d react to you leaving to run errands at night.” Gordon nodded and sighed, hugging Barney.<br/>
“I don’t know what I’d do without you…” He muttered into his shoulder.<br/>
“I don’t either Doc…”<br/>
The two spent the rest of the day doing more cooking and setting up Gordon’s phone.<br/>
“This things pretty handy.” Gordon said after putting Barney's number into the phone.<br/>
“You can learn to cook with it.” Barney snickered, leaning back on the couch.<br/>
“Well, maybe I enjoy you teaching me.” It was merely an excuse to have his arms around him again.<br/>
“I’ll still be in the kitchen commanding you like a robot don’t worry, I know you enjoy that.” Barney flirted, although it wasn’t too obvious to Gordon.<br/>
“Do you think Alyx is jealous of me Doc?” Gordon shrugged, he hadn’t thought about her much of late.<br/>
“Maybe… I think that killer is mostly taking up her mind right now. I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks you’re the Tyrant.” Barney laughed and slightly leaned on Gordon,<br/>
“I still find that flattering.” Gordon chuckled.<br/>
“Don’t you have work tomorrow night?” Barney shook his head,<br/>
“No, the next night I do, why do ya ask?” Gordon shrugged,<br/>
“So you can get more inside information. You’ve got me hooked on your obsession.” They shared a laugh.<br/>
“Well, I’ll share more secrets with you soon Doc, don’t you worry.” He winked at Gordon. Gordon sunk back into the couch, playing with the abilities of the phone he had.<br/>
“You seem quiet, what’s up?” Barney leaned against him slightly.<br/>
“I just have a lot on my mind right now, that’s all.”<br/>
“You can talk to me Doc!” He wrapped his arm around him, patting his shoulder.<br/>
“I know Barney but you shouldn’t worry your head so much about me.” Gordon reached up and ruffled Barney's hair.<br/>
They smiled at each other awkwardly.<br/>
“I have to go out again tonight… I hope you don’t mind.” Gordon shrugged,<br/>
“I’ll be okay I think… I can always call you right?” Barney smiled, nodding.<br/>
It was still fairly early in the day, but the two didn’t have anything to do.<br/>
“Do you think you could read with me? Maybe one of those books?” Barney seemed surprised Gordon had asked.<br/>
“Well, as long as you aren’t trying to plot against me Doc.” He laughed and stood, going back to Gordon’s room to grab the three books. He came back and sat with Gordon, opening one of the books and sharing it with him. It was like Barney had read the book from front to back multiple times. He was very fluent in reading it. Gordon didn’t let it trouble him, he focused on every line of text Barney read from the books. Everything was making sense to him now, Barney’s obsession was justified, Gordon himself started to find himself entranced and immersed into the book pages.<br/>
“Do you want to make some late lunch?” Barney said, closing the first book they started.<br/>
Gordon glanced at the clock, it was almost 4 pm. He rubbed his eyes and stretched,<br/>
“Sure. What are you in the mood for?” Gordon stood, walking to the kitchen followed by Barney.<br/>
“Oh jeez, I don’t know.” Barney went to the fridge and looked.<br/>
“Well… How’s two pot pies sound? We can resume your cooking lessons another day.” Barney said with a chuckle.<br/>
“Sure.” Gordon smiled as Barney pulled the two boxes from the freezer.<br/>
While they waited for the pot pies they continued to read on the couch, getting through another book before the two pot pies were finished.<br/>
After finishing eating, Barney stood and went to Gordons room to change into a black sweater and some pants, getting ready to run his nightly errand. Gordon smiled, watching Barney leave from the couch. Gordon sighed, he should go out too. He needed to grab some food for the week with the money Alyx had given him. Gordon stood and went to his room, putting on a grey sweater over a button up and a pair of pants. He wrote himself a small grocery list before leaving the house.<br/>
Gordon figured he’d walk, the store wasn’t that far plus he did need the exercise. Gordon started his walk to the store, it was dark by the time he left and no one was really on the streets, guess the Tyrant had scared everyone enough to keep inside at night. Gordon knew he wouldn’t be touched by the Tyrant, the Tyrant only went after people of importance, those days were done for him. Gordon continued to walk until he heard something from an alleyway. Curiosity sunk in, he slowly approached the dark alley. Gordon glanced around the corner of the alley, staying out of sight from the light of a back door.<br/>
A man laid trembling on the ground, holding a hand up to the figure that stood above him in an act of protection. Gordon watched as the man brought a foot down on the guys face, there was an audible crunching sound that echoed through the dark. Gordon thought it was just some usual gang beating until he caught the gleam of an officer badge on the now dead man's chest. It wasn’t something that horrified Gordon but, knowing it was probably the Tyrant made him more scared then he should’ve been. Gordon stepped back and glanced at the man he thought to be the Tyrant.<br/>
The Tyrant had the same idea, Gordon met the gaze of the hooded man. Gordon’s eyes widened as he slowly backed up and turned around into a sprint.<br/>
It couldn’t be.<br/>
There was no way it was him.<br/>
Everything pointed to him, but there was no way...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Coming to an Understanding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon got home in a panic, he didn’t know what the hell to do. Did he run to Alyx’s place and tell her? Did he call the cops? His mind was racing, images of the man's smashed skull running around in his mind. He decided to take a bath, it was the only thing he could think of doing that would calm him down. Gordon started a warm bath, he was shaking and he couldn’t stop. He stripped and let his body sink into the warm water. What was he going to do?<br/>	He closed his eyes and sunk his head into the water. He thought about staying under the water, he thought maybe this is what finally made him snap. He opened his eyes and watched the warped image of his ceiling from under the water. Was it finally his time, was this it? That thought stayed in his mind. He felt himself slipping from reality, the water was the only warmth he felt now.<br/>	He felt his grip on the sides of the tub start to weaken, he felt the need to struggle but the water seemed to hold him back. He’d lost the control he had that stopped him from this. Was Barney heartless? God, why could Gordon only think about if Barney was capable of loving him? He just saw his long time friend kill someone brutally and he could only think about a relationship that had no chance to begin with. <br/>	Gordon’s eyes shot open as he heard the muffled noise of the bathroom door burst open. His eyesight wasn’t clear enough but he knew it was Barney. He felt the grip of his hands on his arms as Barney yanked him from his watery grave. Gordon was conscious but could barely focus on what was happening. Bareny was hugging him and crying into his shoulder as far as he could tell. It took Gordon a second to come to but when he did he weakly pushed Barney off of him, furrowing his eyebrows.<br/>	“You think you can just fucking come back here after what I just saw?” He snapped. <br/>	Barney studied Gordon’s eyes. There was still blood on his coat since he hadn’t had time to clean up before he was spotted by Gordon.<br/>	“Gordon please.” His voice broke as he spoke, he put both his hands on the side of the bathtub, causing Gordon to back up a bit.<br/>	“There’s no please anything Barney! Seriously, what the fuck was that?!” He started to raise his voice.<br/>	“What do you want me to say Gordon.” He felt his voice start to come back, his tears stopping.<br/>	“The truth. I want to know what all of this is that you’re doing.” Gordon stood and grabbed the towel off the towel rack, wrapping it around his waist. He stepped out of the bath and sat on the toilet seat and stared angrily at Barney. Sure, he was thankful he had saved him but his mind wasn’t on Barney being the savior of the story. Barney was a bit flustered, Gordon hadn’t really processed the fact Barney saw him ass naked.<br/>	“The truth? Well, I kill people. I don’t got a job so I work as a hit man, makes good money.” He shrugged, he tried to keep his cool but he started to shake. Gordon stayed silent.<br/>	“Come on Doc, say somethin’...” Barney said out of nowhere. In his mind, Gordon was screaming and fighting Barney but he spoke softly instead,<br/>	“So you are the Tyrant…” Gordon didn’t know what to feel.<br/>	“Yeah…” Barney looked up at Gordon's gaze, the anger in Gordon’s eyes was definitely there but there was a glimmer of something else.<br/>	“You’re a real fucking dick for keeping that from me.” he snarled.<br/>	“I-I know Doc…” Barney muttered.<br/>	“That’s what I’m mad about, I could care less you’re out there killing people honestly. They all got somethin’ wrong with them right?” Gordon couldn’t believe he said that.<br/>	“You need to be careful though, especially if you’re using this job to get inside information…” Gordon looked at the bath, staying silent for a moment.<br/>	“Are you really planning on overthrowing the damn government Barney? That’s not a one man job…”<br/>	“Well, I think I got it Doc.” He cracked a smile when Gordon looked back at him.<br/>	Gordon stood, Barney did too. He wasn’t sure if Gordon was about to kick his ass or not but he wanted to be on his feet.<br/>	“I don’t want to fight Doc I-”<br/>	“Maybe it’s a two man job.” Gordon said bluntly.<br/>	“Woah. You aren’t thinkin’ straight Gordon.” Gordon didn't respond with any words.<br/>	Barney studied Gordon’s face. He was thinking okay enough to keep his eyes focused on his eyes and he was able to stand straight without wobbling or shaking.<br/>	“Gor-” Gordon backed Barney into the wall behind him, putting a hand on the wall beside his head.<br/>	“...don” Barney hadn’t been fearful for his life since his first time in Combine conditioning.<br/>	“Have you lost yourself…” Gordon muttered,<br/>	“W-what? What do you mean? What kind of question is that?”<br/>	“Are you still you Barney? I can’t fucking tell… Not with this new, Tyrant shit you’re pulling.” Banrey looked at the ground, trying to think of a way to show him he hadn’t changed.<br/>	“I’ve already upset you enough tonight Doc… I don’t need to ruin our relationship more.”<br/>	“You either do something or you go back to your shit hole and I tell the cops.”<br/>	The attitude in Gordon’s voice struck a nerve. Barney had anger written on his face.<br/>	“You want me to fucking do something? I can do a lot of things to prove myself to you Gordon. A lot. But I think there’s something we’ve both wanted for a long time that I can do to prove myself to you but don’t fucking say shit like that, it hurts. I don’t want to be taken from you.” He started to cry again. “I don’t want to leave your side again.” He raised his voice and looked into Gordon’s eyes.<br/>	“Everytime I drink all I taste is every waisted minute that I was away from you, I pretended to still be fine through it all but I don’t know how I lived.”<br/>	Gordon lowered his hand from the wall.<br/>	“Do… you know the saying, we’re asleep till we fall in love?” Gordon said softly, their faces had gotten closer and Barney could feel the warmth of his breath on his lips.<br/>	“Sure…” Barney mumbled, smiling.<br/>	“I’m ready to wake up.” Gordon said, he ran a hand through Barney’s hair and gently connected their lips. <br/>	“I was supposed to do that.” Barney said, chuckling. “You destroyed the proof I had.” They shared a laugh together.<br/>	“Gordon… Did you mean what you said? ‘Bout my job being a two person one?” Gordon bit his lip,<br/>	“I’ll have to think about it Barney. This is, crazy… I don’t know what to think, I don’t know how to think right now.” Gordon sighed and put his head on Barneys.<br/>	“You’re fucking crazy for doing this. Why?”<br/>	“I’m tired of the corruption, if someone doesn’t stop them, we’ll end up with what we had after your downfall… I don’t want to deal with that again, or risk losing you again… You know how many calls I get? Asking for your head?” Barney scoffed.<br/>	“Did you actually go through military training?”<br/>	“Sure did, only for a few years but the job’s all fake, a cover up I use. I barely got into training as it is, I doubt I can get a job. My name suffered the same fate as yours…” He smiled a bit.<br/>	“I’m sorry Barney, I wish I knew that… I wish you would’ve found me sooner…”<br/>	“Let’s stop wishing, we can’t change what good ol’ fate had planned for us.” He grabbed Gordon’s hands and smiled.<br/>	“I guess you’re right huh…” Gordon smiled.<br/>	“You need to be more careful with how you kill people, being in the news isn’t a good thing as a murderer.” <br/>	“I’ll be fine Doc, I wear gloves.” He held up his hands, showing off his black leather gloves. <br/>	“I don’t need you in jail.” Gordon said, rolling his eyes.<br/>	“That won’t happen, I promise.” Gordon and Barney wrapped their fingers around each other and exchanged a smile.<br/>	“You really scared me when you were in the tub Doc…” Gordon rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.<br/>	“Seeing you… doing that really made me snap. I thought… I thought you didn’t feel anymore so I thought that meant we’d never get to love each other. I thought you’d lost it, so I lost myself. I didn’t know what your reaction was going to be anyways when you got home so… I thought if you were going to kill me, I’d rather do it myself…” <br/>	“Ah jeez… I’m real sorry.” He pet his head on Gordon’s shoulder.<br/>	“It’ll be okay, I’ll have to definitely take time to get used to this but, it’s worth it.” Gordon took Barney’s hands in his own again.<br/>	“I have to admit, I was goin’ a bit crazy when we’d fall asleep on the couch and I wasn’t able to say I love you to you… Because god, I needed to say it eventually. Before Alyx had the chance to…”<br/>	“God Barney, she doesn’t like me like that!” Barney gave him a look that said ‘Really?’ before racing into his bloodied coat and pulling out a journal.<br/>	“I got a little souvenir last night, she really needs to remember to lock her doors when she’s not home.” He handed it off to Gordon.<br/>	“Oh my god you broke into here house?!”<br/>	“I wanted to see if she still had the damn thing, she used to show me the journal entries she’d write about you…”<br/>	“Oh… wow that had to really fucking hurt… Assuming you liked me back then.” <br/>	“It was hell when you weren’t around I mean, god I love her to death. She was a great companion but, I couldn’t deal with her obsession with you, not while I had loved you since before her, since Black Mesa.” Gordon thumbed through some of the journal pages, nodding to what Barney had said.<br/>	“Really? Since Black Mesa?” Gordon focused on the journal.<br/>	“Yeah! I was pretty obsessed with you, that’s why I spent so many long nights with you even when I was off the clock. You were my payment for all those hours.” Gordon looked up and smiled, his face getting warm.<br/>	“That’s… really cute.” He chuckled and closed the journal.<br/>	“Do you need me to wash your coat?” Gordon asked, realizing how stained it was.<br/>	“It’s alright, the blood’s already stained since I didn’t get it off in time. I’ll just burn it, I can get a new one.” He slipped it off and put it over one of his shoulders.<br/>	“How ‘bout we sit on the couch and talk more, the bathrooms a tad cramped and I think you’d like to change into pants at least. Not that I’m complaining.” He laughed and smirked.<br/>	“God, now’s not the time to say shit like that.” Gordon chuckled and shook his head.<br/>	The two left the bathroom and went to sit on the couch, Barney put the coat next to him on the couch and leaned on Gordon’s shoulder, smiling like an idiot.<br/>	“How do the people pay you?”<br/>	“They drop the money in a hidden place I tell them about, I pick it up an hour or so later and do the dirty work. Sometimes I’m not even paid, there’s just certain people that really, really deserve it. Oh, it also has to be an authority figure or I just won’t do it”<br/>	Barney quickly shut up as he heard the front door open, it was Alyx.<br/>	“You guy’s won’t believe this! There was another damn body already! It was all over the radio!” She walked in front of them.<br/>	“I believe it… That’s really horrifying actually, that someone’s doing this with no motives at all.” Gordon said, giving a look to Barney that said he didn’t mean it.<br/>	“He’s not too good at hiding his tracks it seems, leaving the bodies somewhere to be noticed by the media. If he was smart, he’d hide the bodies or at least make a statement with em.” Barney said with a shrug.<br/>	“Are you encouraging this?” Alyx snapped at Barney.<br/>	“Jeez Alyx! No? What’s gotten you in such a tiz?” Barney sat up a bit, straightening himself.<br/>	“I think your obsession is getting the better of you. Gordon why haven’t you talked any sense into him? Seriously.”<br/>	“What? Alyx he’s fine. It’s something for him to keep his mind on, it’s just an interest I guess. I don’t see a problem with it.” Gordon wrapped an arm around Barney’s side, trying to hide it from Alyx. She didn’t say anything, she just huffed and stormed out of the room. Gordon sighed and let his arm fall from Barney’s side as he looked at the door helplessly.<br/>	“I’m sorry Doc.” Gordon sighed a bit and turned to smile at Barney, placing a hand on the side of his face.<br/>	“There’s no need… She’ll be okay in the morning.” Gordon shrugged it off.<br/>	Barney put his hand on Gordon’s and rested his face on his palm, smiling. His head was spinning still, he couldn’t lie that he wasn’t expecting an ass kicking from Gordon. He was happy he hadn’t received one. <br/>	“How bout we get some rest? It’s gettin’ late anyways and I think we both need it.” Barney suggested, putting his hand down.<br/>	“That sounds nice.” Gordon smiled a bit, standing and grabbing Barney’s hand, pulling him up.<br/>	“Wait.” Barney said, pulling him close. He took in every detail of Gordon’s face like a fine painting.<br/>	“I just… wanted to look at you again.” He said, putting a hand through Gordon’s hair.<br/>	“I’m flattered…” Gordon mumbled, holding Barney’s hips. Barney leaned into Gordon and planted a gentle kiss on his lips before walking with him to the bedroom.<br/>	That night marked the first night they would sleep in bed together, holding one another tight in each other's arms as if the world would take one of them by the shadow of the night. Gordon didn’t know how truly addicting Barney would become, or how, like a poison, he would consume every bit of his waking life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wrote this song mostly listening to Dust and Ashes from The Great Comet lol.<br/>If you'd like, sharing this on other platforms would be a huge favor from anyone who enjoys this story, Half-Life Fics deserve more attention and I know it's not the HLVRAI fandoms fault that AO3 has the tags mixed together lol but Half-Life fics tend to get buried, so sharing definitely helps!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Caught up in the Moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for slight gore but just a little</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon opened his eyes the next morning to the sound of light guitar strumming. The secret guitarist was missing a few notes as he played the opening chords to Wonderwall, but it was still music to Freeman’s ears. Gordon stood, knowing who the mysterious guitarist was, and made his way to the living room. He smiled as his eyes fell on Barney, who sat in the chair against the window, strumming Gordon’s guitar while he softly sang.<br/>
“Hey, not too bad for not playing in awhile.” Gordon said, walking over to him.<br/>
“Hm? Oh. Mornin’ Doc.” Gordon leaned over and shared a kiss with him, cupping his face slightly.<br/>
“Hey Gordon you- Oh my god,”  Gordon slipped around, covering Barney as if he was protecting him or something.<br/>
“Hey Alyx!” Gordon said, grinning nervously.<br/>
“Were you two making out?”<br/>
Gordon stayed silent, it was pretty much illegal to be gay in City 17, times hadn’t adopted new views.<br/>
“Jeez you two, I’m not gonna call you two out but lock your door at least.” She gave Gordon a smile but, there was a hint of hurt in her eyes that Gordon failed to see.<br/>
Barney stood, placing the guitar against the wall of the condo,<br/>
“You scared me to death Alyx.” He chuckled, standing at Gordon's side.<br/>
“When did this all happen?” She asked, sitting on the couch.<br/>
“Well, last night actually…” Gordon glanced at Barney, recalling the exact events.<br/>
“It just kinda, happened. That’s the best way I can explain it.” Gordon chuckled a bit. The room felt tense.<br/>
“Well, I always thought there was something between you two.” She smiled at the floor.<br/>
“Oh, you perform tonight Gordon, don’t forget.” She said as she stood.<br/>
“Oh, wait you don’t have to leave so soon.”<br/>
“I have work today.” She said as she left in a hurry.<br/>
Gordon rubbed the back of his neck, he hadn’t meant to upset his friend.<br/>
“She’ll be alright, I think things like this take time for people to adjust to.” Barney said, placing a hand on his shoulder.<br/>
“Yeah… You’re right.” Gordon turned and gave Barney a big hug. The two didn’t let go of each other for a long time, savoring the warmth of each other's bodies.<br/>
“I love you…” Gordon muttered into his lover's shoulder.<br/>
“ I love ya too…” he chuckled a bit, kissing the side of Gordon's head causing him to smile a bit.<br/>
“What songs should I perform tonight?” Gordon asked, sitting in the chair Barney was sat in earlier.<br/>
“You do 3 right? Well throw in an original and two you know by heart. I don’t know how big your repertoire is.” He sat on the coffee table and watched as Gordon picked up his guitar.<br/>
“Ever heard the song High and Dry by that band RadioHead? I haven’t played it in a long while but I think it’s something you’d like.”<br/>
“Don’t just think about me, you got a whole audience!”<br/>
“Well, maybe I want you to be the one I perform for. The one my eyes focus on the whole performance.” Barney blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.<br/>
“Awh ya got me all flustered now.”<br/>
Gordon chuckled and lightly strummed the guitar to make sure it was in tune before playing the opening to the song. Barney recognized the song and smiled. Before Gordon could begin singing Barney took over.<br/>
“Two jumps in a week<br/>
I bet you think that's pretty clever, don't you boy?<br/>
Flying on your motorcycle<br/>
Watching all the ground beneath you drop”<br/>
Barney sang softly, Gordon was amazed that Barney still had it in him to sing and still sang so beautifully.<br/>
Gordon joined in as the song got to the chorus,<br/>
“Don't leave me high<br/>
Don't leave me dry<br/>
Don't leave me high<br/>
Don't leave me dry”<br/>
Barney smiled warmly, nodding to Gordon to sing the next verse.<br/>
“Drying up in conversation<br/>
You will be the one who cannot talk<br/>
All your insides fall to pieces<br/>
You just sit there wishing you could still make love”<br/>
Gordon and Barney matched their voice colors beautifully. Their voices were beautiful together.<br/>
Gordon and Barney shared a tender kiss as the song came to its end.<br/>
“What if we did a duet tonight?” Barney asked.<br/>
“Well, I’d have to ask the boss but, I don’t think he’d complain.” Gordon held Barney’s hand.<br/>
“What else is on the line up?” Gordon thought for a moment and rubbed his thumb over Barney’s Knuckles.<br/>
“Well, I’ll do an original piece to give my voice a break and follow that with Creep.”<br/>
“Since when were you so into Radiohead Doc?”<br/>
“It’s been a thing for a few years I guess.” Gordon placed the guitar in its case.<br/>
“Huh. Guess I have to get into it now hm?” Barney laughed a bit.<br/>
“What should we do till 4 then?” Gordon sat on the couch, joined by Barney.<br/>
“Well… What is there to do? I can read to you again?” Gordon smiled,<br/>
“I’d like that but how about we make some breakfast first?”<br/>
“Alright, what did you have in mind?”<br/>
“How about you teach me how to make an omelette?” Barney cocked a smile and stood, pulling Gordon up and leading him to the kitchen.<br/>
“Alright, grab a saucepan and put a small coat of oil on it, just so the egg doesn’t stick.” Barney rummaged through the fridge grabbing all the ingredients.<br/>
“Okay, what’s next.”<br/>
“Do you know how to crack an egg?” Barney handed him one of the two eggs.<br/>
“Sure…” Gordon hesitantly tapped it on the side of the pan.<br/>
“Don’t worry bout hurting it doc, it's supposed to be broken.” Gordon nodded and tapped it a bit rougher, cracking the egg a bit.<br/>
“Not so hard right? Now you’ll get a tad messy but stick both your thumbs in the crack and break it open.” Barney watched Gordon fumble the egg a bit while he leaned on the counter top. Gordon eventually managed to open the egg and dump it into the pan.<br/>
“See? That ain’t so hard hm?” Gordon chuckled and broke the other egg open carefully.<br/>
“You got a whisk right?”<br/>
“Yeah, it’s in the drawer by my hip.” Barney nodded and reached over to grab the whisk. He then stood up straight and did what he had done before, he stood directly behind him and took Gordon’s wrists, handing off the whisk to him. He showed Gordon a proper technique to whisking the eggs together and making them fluffy. Barney proceeded to help Gordon with other ingredients, showing him how to flip the omelet, the whole nine yards but Gordon’s mind was clearly somewhere else.<br/>
Gordon couldn’t help but think about how insane the past 24 hours had been. Attempted suicide, finding out your long time friend and decade old crush was basically a hit-man for those with power to their name, kissing that so called hit-man, it was all such a blur. Any normal man would have shoved that fucker away, held a gun to his head, and shot him dead. Was Gordon just brainwashed? Did almost drowning himself fuck up his brain that much? Or was it because of how long the two knew each other and how long Gordon had been hoping and praying that he would one day get to feel those otherworldly lips on his own.<br/>
Oh, how many hours he’d spent at his desk in Black Mesa, admiring Calhoun. Talk about a handsome devil…<br/>
“Earth to Gordon?” Barney said, waving a hand in front of his face. Gordon blinked,<br/>
“Oh, shit did I burn something?”<br/>
“No I was just about to tell you to pull the pan off, then I realized you’d gone into space.” He laughed and kissed his shoulder before grabbing two plates. The two enjoyed their breakfast in a comforting silence.<br/>
Barney even thought the whole situation was odd but he didn’t think about how deep it was, it would hurt his head. The hours passed and soon Gordon and Barney were in the car on the way to the bar.<br/>
“What do ya think your boss’ll say?” Barney asked. He wore a tail coat over a grey button up, a pocket watch in the pocket of the coat. Barney could clean up well.<br/>
Gordon wore his usual vest over a button up, this time the button up was white and his vest was orange, “That you’re fine and we can sing just uh, no pda.”<br/>
“Well, obviously.” He laughed. His laugh always gave Gordon butterflies…<br/>
Gordon pulled into his usual parking spot and got out, grabbing his guitar from the back seat. Gordon pulled Barney to the side of his car and gave him a deep kiss, one that would get them both through the performance. The two then went inside together, Gordon wasted no time and went to where Todd stood at the bar.<br/>
“Evenin’.” Todd said and smiled.<br/>
“Hey, can I ask you a quick question about tonight?”<br/>
“Course.” His eyes met Gordons.<br/>
“Could my friend join me in a duet? I’d hate to allow that without asking.” Todd looked over at Barney and waved, Barney smiled and returned the wave.<br/>
“Well I don’t see why not. He’s the one that got you the beer the other day right? When you sang Black Bird?” Gordon smiled, his head filled with glee, and gave a small nod.<br/>
“As long as you know em, and he can sing, he’s welcome on my stage.” He reached over and gave Gordon’s shoulder a pat.<br/>
“Alyx,” Alyx turned her head from where she stood pouring a customer a shot, “Give these two a beer on me.” Alyx looked over to Gordon as he sat down with Barney.<br/>
“I wasn't expecting both of you.” She said, passing them both a beer.<br/>
“What do you mean?” Gordon asked,<br/>
“Well, I just thought Barney had work tonight.”<br/>
“Oh, I do but not until about 10. Don’t worry.” He smiled. Gordon looked to the side and opened his beer. He knew damn well that wasn’t true anymore but he didn’t mind keeping a secret.<br/>
Gordon worked on tuning up his guitar, waiting for Todd to call his name to get up on stage. Another mic had already been set up for Barney. The beer had soother Barney’s nerves but he had to admit, he was still a bit shaky. He’d only sang in front of Alyx and Gordon before, not complete strangers. Gordon had noticed Barney shaking his leg. He glanced around before grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight.<br/>
“Just focus on me, if you have to just close your eyes.” Barney chuckled,<br/>
“I’d look pretty dumb if I did that. I’m ready for this but I haven’t convinced my mind yet.” Gordon let go of Barney's hand and laughed a bit. Finally, it was time for the two to perform.<br/>
Gordon sat on a stool while Barney stood. He nervously looked out across the audience and gave a smile. Gordon introduced Barney and himself as he usually does and then before Barney knew it, Gordon was playing the opening to the song. Barney felt his heart stop for a moment but he knew what he was doing.<br/>
Barney sang, it shocked Gordon actually when he heard Barney’s voice and not just his own. Barney had power behind his voice too, he was much better at projecting than Gordon but their voices blended perfectly. The bar erupted with applause as the two finished the piece. People came in a crowd to the tip jar Gordon had at the front of the stage. The other two songs weren’t as big but hell was the audience active.<br/>
Gordon stood and bowed, bringing Barney back on stage so he could bow also. Gordon stepped off the stage after accepting a few more tips from the audience. He walked over to his guitar case, sitting down and placing his guitar away. Barney joined him, shock was on his face.<br/>
“You alright Barney?” Gordon chuckled.<br/>
“Y...yeah Just, wow I wasn’t expecting… Applause like that holy cow.” Todd clapped as he walked over,<br/>
“Wow, you two are quite the duo!” Gordon and Barney said thanks at the same time.<br/>
“Listen, if you can both bring a coed to applause like that again, I’ll up your pay Gordon, unless your buddy needs a job. I’m Todd by the way.” He and Barney shook hands.<br/>
“I have a job at a military school as a security guard, but thank you for considering that.” Todd smiled and gave him a nod.<br/>
“Well, how bout you two get a piece of two cooked up for the next gig?”<br/>
“Sounds great Todd.” Barney nodded in agreement with Gordon.<br/>
“Well, I’ll let you two get home. Great job.” He walked back to the kitchen. Alyx then rushed over from behind the bar.<br/>
“Oh my god you two are an amazing duo! I didn’t know Barney could still sing.” Barney rolled his eyes.<br/>
“Thanks Alyx, we’re gonna head back home but stop by after work okay?” Gordon gave her a smile.<br/>
“Alright, see you two tonight! Or, at least Gordon.” She waved goodbye as the two left.<br/>
Gordon loaded his guitar into his car and started it. Barney leaned over in the car and shrouded by dim light he gave him a warm and passionate kiss. Gordon started the quiet drive home, the excitement had worn the two out.<br/>
“Huh, wouldn’t ya know it.” Barney suddenly said, sitting up in his seat at a stop sign.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“That’s one of my targets.”<br/>
“Shit, the big dude? The guard?” Barney nodded.<br/>
Gordon rolled his lips, oh god help him.<br/>
“Is he an easy target right now? Gordon started to drive again so they didn’t lose track of the guard patrolling the dark streets. Barney looked around, assessing the area.<br/>
“Pull into the ally, so no security cameras see your car.” Gordon did as told.<br/>
“I know their routes, we continue on foot down here and we wait for him. He’ll come by.<br/>
We? Gordon wanted to question it. Like hell he wanted to be involved but, Barney wouldn’t do that right? He’d do the dirty work. Right?<br/>
Gordon turned off his car and followed Barney’s lead down the alleyway.<br/>
“I’ll distract him. I’ll act like i’m injured or something okay doc?” He handed Gordon a switchblade from his boot. No, Gordon’s mind was telling him. This isn’t okay but his heart was the one in control right now and his heart said yes. Barney also gave him a pair of disposable gloves.<br/>
“You remember how to kill a man right?”<br/>
Of course he did, he knew how to rip through Combine suits, a simple layer of clothing wouldn’t be a problem. Gordon nodded.<br/>
Barney led him to the end of the alley, they could hear footsteps faintly approaching.<br/>
“Okay, hide behind the dumpsters. You can watch from the crack between the two of them. Move silently.” He gave Gordon a kiss on the head before he went to go hide.<br/>
Barney laid on the ground and held his side before letting out a few cries, just loud enough for the guard to hear but not to wake any neighbours. The footsteps turned into the sound of the guard running.<br/>
“Hello?”<br/>
“H-help please!” Barney staggered his voice, rolling over as the flashlight shone onto him. The large man approached him.<br/>
“What’s wrong? Are you bleeding?” The man kneeled down to get a better look.<br/>
Gordon held his breath. He slowly walked out from behind the dumpsters, knife in hand.<br/>
“I-I was shot! H-he just left me here!” The guard fumbled a bad of paper, he didn’t have a radio.<br/>
Gordon tightened his grip on the blade and before he knew it the blade had cut into the back of the guards neck, stabbing between the vertebrae of his neck and probably into the esophagus. Barney rolled out from under the guard as he tried to scream but he only gargled on his own blood as he fell face first into the dirt. Gordon seemed emotionless.<br/>
“What now.” He spoke.<br/>
“We get back home, clean up.” Barney was so relaxed and, although Gordon seemed relaxed, his mind was panicking but he was in such a state of shock that it hadn’t hit him yet.<br/>
“Come on.” Gordon followed Barney back to the car, removing his gloves and stuffing them in his pockets. He was starting to shake but he got them home.<br/>
Gordon hurried with Barney into the condo and went to his room.<br/>
“Gordon.” Barney sighed and followed shortly after.<br/>
The panic had hit him and hit him hard. He threw off all his clothes except for his undershirt and his underwear. He stood in front of his mirror, shaking and staring at himself. Oh god, what had he done.<br/>
“Gordon.”<br/>
“Barney now isn’t the time.” His voice broke and Barney walked over<br/>
“You did it Gordon, you don’t get to panic like this.” He said sterley.<br/>
“What?” He wanted to be angry back but he felt like a cornered lamb.<br/>
“Gordon you could have said no. You chose to help and my, did you do a fantastic job Doc.”<br/>
“Barney stop.” He felt himself start to cry.<br/>
“Stop what? Telling you the truth?” He wanted to throw Barney through the window in the living room and watch him crack his head open on the concrete.<br/>
But he knew deep down he could never do that, his anger was trying to take control of his mind.<br/>
“You need to fucking understand!” he snapped a bit at Barney. It didn’t affect him like it usually would but it definitely got to him. Barney sighed and sat on the edge of Gordon’s bed,<br/>
“You did it for your eventual freedom.”<br/>
“I am free.” Gordon mumbled.<br/>
“You aren’t. Not while you're under the control of this corrupt government. It isn’t the people that want to speak of you in such fowl ways, it’s the government, the military, and the ex combine members. They think I’m dead Gordon, that’s why they don’t speak of me. They didn't notice me at training, I was lucky I got in. Doc, you could have freedom if you just trust that I’m in the right!” Gordon sat on the bed, his nerves had started to calm down.<br/>
“The people only continue to throw dirt on your name because they know they’ll have a bad reputation to the community which is actually sixty percent ex combine members. They know it’ll get them dirt on their names too and they won’t be able to find employment.”<br/>
“Why don’t they come for Alyx.” Gordon leaned his head on Barney’s shoulder.<br/>
“She was at training too. I didn't say anything to her since she was finished when I entered training but, she seemed close with the soldiers.” Gordon rolled his lips.<br/>
“Let's… Not think about her right now.” He sat up and stared at Barney.<br/>
“This is going to take a long fucking time for me to get used to but... “ He huffed, “I’ll be your partner, I don’t want you to go down alone. Please just, give me time to understand this all and get used to it… I guess, you’re right. This is all for a good cause.” He grabbed Barney’s hand and smiled, wiping tears from his eyes.<br/>
“Sorry Doc I, shouldn’t have snapped like that… That was unprofessional.” He chuckled and gave him a smile.<br/>
“I still love you.” Gordon smiled back, kissing Barney’s hand as he brought it up to his mouth.<br/>
It’s not easy for a psychopath to sympathize with others, nor fall in love or feel love for another human. Gordon knew this, but Gordon knew he could teach Barney how to love. He already had the basics, so the rest should be easy. It’d be a long process but, hell it was worth it.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>